The SELF IMPORTANT generation!

At 55 years old I would have to say that my life has not always been perfect, but I do have joy in my life.  Growing up in the 60's in San Francisco, a military brat, Puerto Rican and in the projects, life definately had it's challenges. Being the youngest of five, meant I was always left behind. Being raised by my Abuela for the most part and a Father who was stationed all over the world and gone, including Vietnam was very lonely at times.  My Mother suffered from major depression, and although she was there physically she was not there emotionally or mentally.  I would have to say that my bond was with my Grandmother.

Our chaotic life meant I was alone a lot of the time. As a result I ended up being severely abused, both sexually and mentally by family members and neighbors. I had to grow up faster than any child should, yet I loved people and craved attention. We moved a lot because of the military so I wasn't able to form many lasting friendships, although I tried. I spent a lot of time at the beach alone and in my own little world. I still was a happy child even with all the damage.

My family moved to Monterey California , which I guess I call home. It's the longest place we ever lived, so when my Dad retired we moved back.to stay.  Even though I was able to form more lasting friendships, I continued to be a bit of a loner. Throughout my teens I made a lot of poor choices.  Fast boys, drugs and alcohol landed me pregnant at 16 and a ward of the court, because I was shamefully kicked out of the family home. I lived at a home for unwed mothers with an older married couple until the husband started to make sexual advances.  So I left and moved in with an older sister.  I refused to marry my son's father because I guess having a secret relationship with my best friend was more important than being a father. Yes we were young, but really?? I'm not stupid!

Over the next several years I got married, had another child and did my best to pretend I was happy. The struggle was real. Constant entertaining, drugs, alcohol and staying up all night got the best of me. So I left him broke with two babies.  I made my decision when I secretly found out that he was sleeping with hookers and selling coke. I gave him an ultimatum. He chose the hookers and the coke! Ya, I chose being single and on welfare over the money, the house and keeping good face to friends and family. Again, I'm not stupid!

I was single for a long time, worked my ass off to keep a roof over our heads, but today my oldest son says I chose to keep him in daycare his entire childhood and neglect them. Whatever you say dear. I tried to date, but found the same thing over and over.  They start out nice, but end up trying to control you body and soul.  I went to therapy, because everyone told me I needed too, and that seriously ended all bad. I felt more alone and abused, more than ever.

I ended up getting married again, because of the kids, (bad mistake) but I tried to give them some stability.  A few more kids and 25 years later, I am now disabled and suffer from physical pain in a huge way. I've had a few surgeries, and have more to go, but I'm not giving up.  My five children and eight grand children are more my motivation than anything. I have reconnected with my Puerto Rican roots and am a huge advocate for the rights of my people.  I no longer feel that the American dream is possible because we raised a bunch of selfish self serving children that believe the world owes it to them to make sure they have the best of everything, but not work for it.  It's really not their fault.  As parents we loaded them with unrealistic goals, and handed them all that we were able to, to "give them a better life".  BIG MISTAKE!!

Now look at the little monsters we have created.  While I love my children, they struggle in ways I never imagined.  Money is the key to happiness in their opinion.  Take a pill to make them even happier. Put other people down to feel important. Gain a bit of knowledge and they are now the experts in everything. They have very little empathy for others unless there is something in it for them.  And if an adult says anything, they blame blame blame us.  There is simply NO accountability. No reward. No need to work hard unless they get something material out of it.  What ever happen to self respect How about doing things out of the goodness of your heart?  The word "entitlement" is over used and manipulated in ways I never thought possible, yet here we are.

I try not to talk about the 3 taboo subjects. Abortion, politics and religion.  I myself am not particularly religious, although I consider myself to be a very spiritual person. I've had a couple abortions but those were not choices I would have made if I had, had the support of my family.  That being said do I feel abortion is a good form of contraceptive. Seriously people? And as for politics? The past 8 years washed away the strides made in discrimination against people of color the last 50 years. This new culture puts celebrities, sports figures and musicians on undeserving pedestals. Why? Just because they have money, fame, are on TV or the intranet does that make them great!  People like Martin Luther King or Rosa Parks stood for ALL people, not just the black ones.  This meaningless self important generation may be the fault of we followers, (I'm equally to blame) but like all bad advice, you can choose to rise above it and break the cycle.  Stop blaming everyone for YOUR poor choices. Don't expect us to listen to you TELL everyone how smart you are, all the while tearing down others for personal gain.  You've been lied to.  Yes, you have.  Now stop demanding more attention and make choices to help HUMANITY. Is that even possible?? When there is more empathy for animals in shelters while passing up the homeless Vet's living on the streets, there is definitely something wrong. Obama wanted change? Oh he got it. In the form of undeserving little shits, that got handed participation trophies! Make a difference without feeling the need to look important. That's called being selfless. Google it. It's time to shut up and put up.